Melvin the Superhero Guy: You have five men in a suitcase and one of them is on a stick! Who's sliding down the proverbial back pole now? If you had a theme song, it would be, 'La lala laaaaaa!' Jeff Dunham: Yeah, I've always wondered about superheroes and their young men sidekicks. hanging around with a young boy! I don't need to have x-ray vision to see what the hell is going on there! Melvin the Superhero Guy: Grown men wearing a rubber suit. Jeff Dunham: You don't think you're Muslim?Р”Р„chmed the Dead Terrorist: Look at my ass. JosР“В© JalapeР“В±o: Sometimes I'm afraid for my life.Р”Р„chmed the Dead Terrorist: I don't think so. Jeff Dunham: You enjoy being in this country? Jeff Dunham: So, JosР“В©, are you here on a temporary visa? Are you here on a work visa? Peanut: He's already here! You really are an idiot!

Jeff Dunham: You know, they're putting a lot more National Guard on the border between the U.S. for two days and you're already freakin' homeless!Р”Р„chmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you!Р”Р„chmed the Dead Terrorist: Two Jews walk in a bar.Р”Р„chmed the Dead Terrorist: What? You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard!

Walter: I think it makes you look homeless! Been in D.C. Jeff Dunham: Well, they said it makes me look hip. Walter: What the hell happened to your hair? It looks like you were in a freakin' car wreck. Walter: Oh, I felt a disturbance in the Force! She called back and she's like 'Did you hang up on me?' I said 'I don't know, did it sound something like this - CLICK!' Walter: You heard a little of that, didn't ya? Melvin: Yeah, like every white-trash guy on Cops. Jeff Dunham: Well, the angrier he gets, the stronger he gets. He can breathe underwater and talk to fish. It kept me awake for the whole damn thing. Walter: My wife and I heard that coffee is good for your sex life. Killing people is easy being politically correct is a pain in the ass. You kill people.Р”Р„chmed: That's different. Jeff Dunham: You're afraid of offending people? I was going to buy you chocolates, but I could only afford the penicillin. Walter: It was funny in junior high, and it's still funny now. Jeff Dunham: Penicillin for Valentine's Jeff Dunham and Walter Jeff Dunham: Happy VD. Jeff Dunham: Ah, and where would you have put it? Walter: I would have gotten a beautiful woman's face. Jeff Dunham: Well if you had, what would you have gotten? Jeff Dunham: Well, did they say it would be only female virgins?Р”Р„chmed: Holy Crap! Wait. Jeff Dunham: Well, you know, they say that women age like fine wine.

Jeff Dunham: Walter, your wife is a lovely woman. I made an honest man out of him! And his mother got out of the other side and started swinging her crutches at me - took her out with the door. He got out of the car and there was nothin' wrong with him, don't you hate that? So I ran his ass over. And some jerk pulled up in a brand new Mercedes and pulled right into the handicap spot. Walter: My wife and I couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinkin' joint. 'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here todayР“вЂљ-' 'I'm not dead yet! Let me out of here! You son-of-a.' Peanut: I think it'd be cool to be a ventriloquist. Walter: I'd come back as my wife and leave me the hell alone. Jeff Dunham: Well if reincarnation happens, who would you come back as and what would you do? Jeff Dunham: Wal-mart, huh? What would be your opening line? Walter: I want to be a greeter at Wal-mart. 'It was three minutes ago!', 'Who are you?!?'. Walter: Their 80s? The hell kind of sex is that? 'Was it good for you?' 'I don't remember'. Jeff Dunham: I had grandparents that were well into their 80s and still were having fun. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results. You know, maybe she should call you FEMA. Exciting at first, then it ends in disaster. Jeff Dunham: Sometimes calls me the 'the Hurricane'.

Achmed the dead terrorist gif